The Future Is Now…

Big changes are coming this week. Friday the 13th is going to be a little bit different this time around, mostly because I am walking in my non-graduation commencement. You see, if I were asked a month ago what I was most excited about, I would have said graduating. Then a bunch of things happened, I kind of got screwed over, and now I am walking even though I won’t technically graduate until December. But this isn’t the big thing coming, in fact, the big thing coming this week is the future.

I don’t have a post-graduation job yet. I don’t really have much going for me after Friday, the teaching job ends and I am stuck with an expiring lease, a part-time radio gig that will not pay the bills, and a whole lot of question marks. Before last Sunday that would have had me scared out of my mind and ready to have a mental breakdown, luckily, that is not the case anymore. While I had every reason to be unsure of what the future holds, I know that the most important part of the future is getting there. Sure, it would be nice to have the option to just fast-forward my life until I know where I’m going and what I’m going to do, but there is no fun there.

Like many people in my graduating class, and the one before that, I don’t have a whole lot of an idea on where I will be in 10 years. The job market is terrible, still, and things still aren’t quite looking up. Ten years ago, I was a freshman in high school without a clue. My biggest worry was cross country practice, and then whatever girl I had a crush on that month, in that order. If you had told me that, in ten years, I would be on the verge of finishing a masters, then I probably would have laughed at you. Strange how things work out that way, but the future came.

Seven years ago I sat through my high school graduation, ready to move on to college and become a teacher. I had plans, I was going to walk on the cross country team, teach high school history, and hopefully coach cross country. Now, I didn’t really do any of that, my ideas on what I wanted to do changed drastically in the first couple of years I was in college. The future came yet again and had different plans for me.

Two and a half years ago, I finished my undergrad degree. Instead of getting a teaching degree, I graduated with a double major in communication and history, with a minor in political science. The plan was to go and get a masters, make it the most expensive back up plan ever, try to go all in on this radio thing and maybe get a Ph.D. in the process. It was the perfect set up, mix and match things that I thought I enjoyed and try to turn it into one massive career. Then things changed, I suddenly was less enamored with the idea of doctoral work, and I began to see how little opportunity there was in radio today. The future decided to shake things up for me yet again.

Today, I have no clue what I am going to do with my life. I find myself consistently looking back on the past 2-7 years of my life with regret. Maybe if I had a different major, maybe if I didn’t go to college at all, maybe if I didn’t decide to do grad school. There are a whole lot of questions and not enough answers just yet. What I do know, right now, is that I plan to enjoy the next phase of my life. I will be out of school, on my own, and ready to take on life as it comes. Is there much more that I could ask for?

“I don’t know what tomorrow brings, it’s alive with such possibilities” – Bright Eyes “Method Acting”